Postcards from the Fast Lane

To this day, if I close my eyes, I can see (and hear) (and smell) my mother clearly as she methodically dressed in the mornings…all the while clarifying for her inquisitive daughter, the reasoning behind each undergarment.

“A proper lady always wears a girdle, garter belt, and stockings,” she would say.

Next, she would reach for the delicate white lace “full slip”…never a half slip…heavens to Betsy no. Then, this is where it gets good…she would choose a spotless linen handkerchief from the top drawer of her Birdseye maple dresser, put an undisclosed sum of folded green paper money in the middle and tie the handkerchief tightly around it. The next step was to pin it securely inside her brassiere…never a “bra.”

“This is a Southern lady’s best kept secret,” she whispered.

After slipping into a sheer flowered summer dress and smoothing her hair one last time, she would carefully reach for her transparent glass perfume bottle adorned with a crystal jeweled dabber cap. Ever so gently, she would dab the sweet-smelling perfume behind each ear and on the inside of each wrist. Always in exactly the same spots. Then she would turn to me and smile.

“You’ll be a grown-up lady soon so I think you should start smelling like one.” And she would dab the perfume in exactly the same spots on me.

Sadly, my mother’s dressing routine was quelled by Alzheimer’s, but we still continued the perfume ritual. And for a brief moment, her eyes reflected that same familiar tenderness as we dabbed the sweet-smelling perfume in all the right places.

My sister, Margaret and our cousin, Sissy ate watermelon all day long. Not because they loved watermelon that much but because they made it a contest…seeing who could spit the seeds the farthest. Oh, I ate my share of cold watermelon too. Only thing, I swallowed more of the seeds than I spit. Margaret and Sissy would have giggling fits watching me. After awhile, it began to get on my nerves. But with me being only four years old, if I wasn’t “winning,” nothing was much fun.

The screech of a large bird of an unknown species temporarily caught my attention. As I watched him circling the sky above me, I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, and wished, “Swoop down and grab Margaret and Sissy and leave them on top of a mountain somewhere…please.”

But of course, that didn’t happen. Frowning, I muttered, “Who ever heard of a family picnic reunion? And on the hottest day of the year…ole’ hot steamy July 4th. …and in Texas!”

Suddenly I smelled vanilla…the kind of vanilla that goes into homemade vanilla ice cream. Thoughts of watermelon seeds, uncooperative birds, strange people, and the scorching heat disappeared when I spotted my Aunt Leora heading toward me with a bowl of ice cream.

“Thought you might like this.”

I could only smile and nod my head.

Just when I thought this reunion thing wasn’t really so bad, up walk Margaret and Sissy. “Hey squirt, did you know that if you swallow watermelon seeds, they’ll grow out your ears.”

I fell for it hook, line, and sinker! Suddenly I understood why my mother always warned me, “Don’t swallow the seeds.”

After returning home, I spent a great deal of time in front of the mirror checking out my ears for any signs that watermelon harvest was near. Hey! I was four years old…

Lesson learned?  To this day, I would rather face a firing squad than swallow a watermelon seed.

Her name was Cynthia Anne Herndon. She was a Choctaw who ran with her two outlaw brothers back in the 1800′s…somewhere in Oklahoma. Although Indian, she wore the traditional dress of a pioneer woman. Only one difference…strapped to her side, hidden underneath the flour-sack dress, was a loaded six-shooter. She was as handy with the pistol as any man and apt to draw it quicker than any man. No one dare provoke her or challenge her position with the gang. She was fierce…like her warrior ancestors.

Black braids intertwined with colored beads framed her amber skin while black penetrating eyes stared a hole right through you. She seldom spoke but when she did, you listened.

Then one day, she up and disappeared never to be seen again. Cynthia Anne Herndon had fallen in with an old worn-out cowpoke, Pinkney Henry Dooley…a most unlikely pair. Nevertheless, it seemed to be a match made in…well, I’m not sure where the match was made…but it endured.

She unstrapped the six-shooter and never packed again. They were married in Comanche County on July 31st, 1872, farmed a little piece of ground, and had babies…in spite of the old cowpoke’s age. (Remind anybody of Abraham?) Let’s see, there were five…Bowie, John Thomas, Willie, Susan, and Mary Addie.

She passed down the Choctaw folklore of her people to her children who passed it down to their children and then on to the third generation…which included me.

Cynthia Anne Herndon Dooley was my great-grandmother.

Papa Dooley sat in his favorite chair on the front porch…rocking back and forth…a telltale squeak with each forward rock.

“Tell us a riddle to solve, Papa!” all us kids begged.

The rocking chair slowly came to a rest. “You really want to hear a riddle?” teased Papa.

After much encouragement from his adoring audience, Papa stroked his chin and began. “Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet.”

After pausing only long enough to recite the riddle, Papa resumed his rocking…squeak and all.

“Is that it?” asked Douglas.

“Won’t you give us a hint?” pleaded Cousin Wanda.

Smiling mysteriously, Papa nodded. “Sure nuff…the answer’s in the Bible.”

We scrambled for our Bibles and then we all sprawled out on the porch in front of Papa in hopes of squeezing out another hint. All, that is, except Margaret, who went immediately to the kitchen where Mama Dooley was making pies.

Finally, out of exasperation, we threw in the towel…so to speak. Just at the very moment Papa was about to reveal the answer to his genius riddle, Margaret opened the screen door with Mama Dooley right behind her.

Margaret smiled. “What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?”

Papa brought his rocking chair to an abrupt halt. “If you had not plowed with my heifer, you would not have solved my riddle.”

At that Mama and Papa Dooley both doubled over with laughter.

****

Dear Readers, the riddle, the answer, and Papa’s response are all in the Bible. Judges 14:5-20 tells the entire story of Samson killing a lion with his bare hands and later coming across the carcass again to find a swarm of bees amid a feast of honey.

Read and enjoy…especially the part about Mama being a “heifer”!

Doug yelled at his sister, “Raise me up! Raise me up!”

We were in the backyard having a picnic and playing on a seesaw that Daddy had fashioned using a barrel and a wooden plank…worked great. Doug and Margaret teetered back and forth on the seesaw with Doug spending most of the time on the ground while Margaret balanced her weight just right so as to stay up in the air. Finally, Doug grew tired of Margaret’s big-sister-game and jumped off the seesaw which plunged her downward to land hard on the ground.

Margaret was still spewing and muttering when they reached the picnic table…Margaret rubbing her backside while Doug snickered in triumph.

Mother calmly opened her Bible. “God talks about raising His children up…II Corinthians 4:14 Assured that He Who raised up the Lord Jesus will raise us up also with Jesus and bring us along with you into His presence. And in Ephesians 2:6 And He raised us up together and made us sit together in Heavenly places in Christ Jesus.”

Doug’s demeanor swelled considerably. “How do you like them apples, Margaret?”

Mother ignored Doug’s comment. “God not only raises us up but He expects all His children to raise each other up spiritually, emotionally, and financially. There will be times when you will raise others up to sit on high like on the seesaw and then there will be times when someone else is raising you up. It’s a teeter tot, back and forth, seesaw exchange.”

****

Dear Readers, pray with me the partial words of songwriters
Brendan Graham and Rolf Lovland’s incredible song:

“Lord, You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
Lord, You raise me up so I can walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on Your shoulders.
Lord, You raise me up to more than I can be.”

Amen

Daddy had a reputation of being the best horse-trader in our county…in fact, his infamous reputation spread over most of Texas. When it came to getting the best from a deal…Daddy always came out smelling like a rose. In other words, he always came out ahead.

Ironically, a few who traded with Daddy accused him of “insider trading”… meaning that they thought, for example, he had inside information about the questionable condition of an animal they were trying to pawn off on him. He would only laugh and agree with them. “You’re right…I do have an inside connection who looks out for my best interest…it’s the good Lord Himself.”

The Believers who heard Daddy say this would laugh and nod their heads in appreciation. But the unbelievers would become agitated and overly aggressive toward Daddy. That made Daddy laugh all the harder.

What exactly was Daddy being accused of? Insider Trading means the buying or selling of something by someone who has access to private information about whatever is being sold or bought which would influence its outcome. And Daddy readily admitted that he did have an inside  connection…the Lord.

He was always careful to quote, Deuteronomy 28:13 And the Lord shall make you the head and not the tail; and you shall be above and you shall not be beneath if you heed the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you this day and are watchful to do them.

Another quote of Daddy’s was, “Trade what you don’t know for what you do know and you’ll always come out ahead.”

****

Dear Readers, do you have the benefit of an inside connection?

“What does that mean… ‘Foxhole Atheists?’” asked Doug.

Uncle Carl turned to Doug. “Let me explain…during World War II, I found myself in a foxhole on more than one occasion…sometimes for days on end. Doug, understand this…being trapped in a foxhole causes extreme stress and fear. It stands to reason that when an unbelieving soldier stares death in the face, he begins to question why he rejected the reality of a Supreme Being in the first place. I thank God every day that I had the honor and privilege of pointing many of my buddies to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. The label, ‘Foxhole Atheist’ was forever removed from them.”

Uncle Carl paused a moment…struggling to continue. “Some of them never left the foxhole…that is, in the physical sense. But Praise God, their spirits were lifted out of those foxhole graves and taken to Heaven to be with the Lord.”

Mother compassionately touched Uncle Carl’s hand. “Carl, you and Trudie have always been so faithful to share your faith.”

Carl took a deep breath. “Louise, the need to share our faith is even greater now. Since the war…back in civilian life…I’ve come to realize that there are many people who dig their own ‘foxholes’ by stubbornly refusing to listen to the truth of the Gospel thereby choosing to die in the grave of unbelief.”

****

Dear Readers, any of your neighbors or loved ones
living in a foxhole…

Share Jesus…

Aunt Jewel came bounding in the house…the screen door slamming behind her. Stumbling over Daddy’s feet and almost falling flat on her face because of the open newspaper obscuring her view, she cried, “Look at this everybody!”

We all scrambled to find out what all the excitement was about. Mother reached for the newspaper. “What’s this Sis?”

“Read it out loud Louise.”

“The Alvin Sun invites everyone to submit a six-word biography of their life in celebration of the joy of storytelling. All entries will be published in the newspaper plus the grand prize winner will receive $25.00.”

“Oohs” and “aahs” were heard around the room as we all envisioned winning the $25.00, which was humongous back then.

Doug clapped his hands in excitement. “I already know what I’ll write…Have Bottomless Pit Stomach…Will Travel.”

Laughing, Margaret countered with…“For Sale Cheap: Incredibly Fat Brother.”

Doug glared defensively at his sister. “I’m not fat!”

Mother tried unsuccessfully to smother a giggle. “Okay you two…”

During the following week, our family came up with some really good six-word memoirs that described their lives. Uncle Carl who did a tour in Europe during World War II offered, “In Strange Travels I Found Me.” Daddy submitted. “Life Is More Than Six Words.” Cousin Sissy wrote, “Finally Learned To dance…On Rainbows.” Mama Dooley had her mind set on, “And Then There Was…Indoor Plumbing,” while Papa Dooley was more philosophical. “When Seeking The Truth…Found Jesus.” Baby Faye settled on, “Writers Always Have The Last Word.”

****

Dear Readers, after all is said and done
there are six words that stand out…especially to
King Solomon: Ecclesiastes’ closing thoughts…
Fear God And Keep His Commandments.

The Best Is Yet To Come…

“Why couldn’t Mr. Johnston give us an ‘open book’ test?” asked my sister while struggling to prepare for an upcoming Math exam.

“What’s an ‘open book’ test?” asked cousin Linda.

Our cousins, Bonnie, Sissy, and Linda had joined all us kids around the kitchen table that, by the way, was haphazardly covered with schoolbooks and scribbled on notebook paper, cookie crumbles, and empty milk glasses.

The pencil stood still in Sissy’s fingers while she explained. “An ‘open book’ test is when the teacher passes out the test papers and then supposedly allows everyone to use their textbooks for all the correct answers.” Sissy laughed. “Nobody gives ‘open book’ tests…I don’t even know where that idea came from…”

About that time, Mother and Aunt Leora walked into the kitchen. “Would you kids really like to know about the origin of the ‘open book’ test?”

All us kids looked knowingly at each other and smiled…one of Mother’s Life Principles was on the way.

“The Lord gives all of us the first ‘open book’ test in the Book of Deuteronomy. In Chapter 30 verse 19, He gives us the test paper with these words, ‘I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing.’  And then in next sentence, He gives us the answer, ‘Therefore choose life that both thou and thy seed may live.’”

Bonnie pursed her lips. “That’s easy to figure out without God telling us the answer…who wouldn’t choose life and blessing over death and cursing?”

Aunt Leora spoke up, “Bonnie, you’d be surprised how many lost souls who do indeed choose the wrong answer even though the correct answer is right there in God’s open Bible…for all to see.”

****

Dear Readers, have you failed God’s ‘open book’ test?
Hint: Choose Life!

Disney’s movie, Bambi, was released in theaters in 1942 during World War II and yet, while money was extremely tight, Mother and Daddy somehow found the means to take the entire family out for a very special treat.

Still today, my fondest memory is recalling how Mother and Daddy would quote Thumper, the little rabbit. “It you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”

The quote actually evolved into one of Mother’s Life Principles and was reinforced over and over in order to drive the principle home. God frequently reinforced that very same principle in the Bible.

For example, Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times and Luke 10:27 …Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind…and love your neighbor as yourself.

But Mother’s favorite was the Golden Rule…Luke 6:31 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

She would frequently compare the Golden Rule to Thumper’s mother and father’s scolding, “Thumper, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

Love is the Eternal, Perfect Form that eternally gives birth to All That Is. Birth is not easy or painless. Neither is love…but for us kids, Thumper made the medicine go down a whole lot easier.